Thor Agonistes

In the CGI realm of Asgard,
One blond Norse is built like an offensive guard.
He stands in a golden light so garish,
He resembles some guy in a Maxfield Parrish.

Proud Thor stands by the door.
He wants more,
The throne of Marvel comics' Norse lore.
His cape is made of red velour.

Anthony Hopkins plays Thor's one-eyed dad,
Who gets mythically mad,
And banishes Thor to earth's lowlife squalor,
To languish there evermore.

Travelling by wormhole Thornado,
Thor lands in New Mexico's dark sand,
There to meet Natalie Portman
Who drives a white van.

As astrophysicist Jane, Portman goes gaga
Whenever Thor struts through the door.
He's a hunk of an otherworldly saga,
Who smashes his mug upon the floor.

Thor has to learn humility and tact
To get his cute little hammer back.
Thor needs to find some grace
To fight a monster that shoots lasers from its face.

I wanted to like Thor due to Kenneth Branagh,

But I grew weary of the ersatz costume drama.

The film works better in the US,

Where Portman does not appear so Black Swan-stressed.