The Film Doctor's Ten Most Disliked Films of 2008
10) The Eye This was one of those films where I sat in the theater wondering whether there may be something more interesting elsewhere in the Cineplex. Jessica Alba got an eye transplant where she can suddenly see spooky things. I couldn’t even review it.
9) Iron Man
Many raved about this film, and I confess I enjoyed watching Robert Downey Jr. unsuccessfully try out the jet propulsion boots. Otherwise, the film struck me as endless metal crashing, pinging, and banging on metal. The most poignant moment—Jeff Bridges’ bald head looking scrawny and swamped by his big knock 'em sock 'em robot outfit.
8) Get Smart
This film confirmed my suspicions about the decline of modern man. Women will survive and prosper. Men won’t. It may not be such a bad thing.
7) The Love Guru
See Number 8. Again, poor Jessica Alba.
6) Step Brothers
See Number 8 and 7. Further proof. There is no hope.
5) Charlie Bartlett
A vile rip off of Wes Anderson’s Rushmore, even down to the minor characters and the shot composition style.
4)
With long dyed hair, Nicholas Cage tries to look soulful in a clumsy Thai hit man flick that you can’t even enjoy on a campy level. What is going on in Cage’s mind? Why is he in these films? Why are there so many of them?
3) Death Race
Watch the men race. Watch the camera zoom in and out. Race, race, race. Die, die, die.
2) You Don’t Mess with the Zohan
If you are not convinced by the argument concerning 8, 7, and 6, Adam Sandler should remove any remaining doubts.
1) Mamma Mia!
A deeply disturbing film in which middle-aged people writhe endlessly and grotesquely to dated pop. Views like a bad acid trip.
Comments
Of course, I was the only male.
C'mon... Pierce Brosnan's temple arteries threatening to explode as he belts out SOS? Just magic.
In regards to Iron Man, while I did enjoy it, I am in the same boat. My enjoyment actually came from the little moments with Downey Jr and Paltrow. Their wordplay reminded me of something like Bogart and Bacall. No, not on the same level, but it was a nice addition to an action film that elevated it a bit for me. I could also watch Robert Downey Jr talk for hours and probably be entertained. Other than that the story is really weak, the action is very boring, and the villain isn't very harrowing. Favreau's direction is so by the numbers I could predict each shot before I saw it.
Ed, Shawn, and Wendymoon--Thanks for your comments. I understand too that many liked Iron Man. I tried to like it, but when it came time to draw up a list of the films I saw this year, Iron Man was near the bottom, and I too normally enjoy Downey Jr's work. I know nothing about the original Iron Man comic, so I missed many of the subtleties and allusions built in the storyline. I also thought the treatment of the Afghanistan villagers was patronizing and typical of our know-nothing-of-the-strange-culture foreign policy of the time.
I guess people liked Robert Downey Jr.'s little creative touches that he brought to the role. They give the film a more adult air, but otherwise the film could have been Transformers as far as I was concerned, only Transformers had better graphics.
Otherwise, I can say that mercifully I haven't seen any of the other films on your list and don't plan to. Thanks for the rundown.
And look at that... it just got nominated for a Golden Globe.
I'm gla IRON MAN made your list, but most of the other garbage I didn't see, but salute you for your completism in that sense. I saw VALKYRE yesterday; perhaps that one could be added.